Dear beautiful beautiful ottoman:
This is difficult for me to write because I love you so much.
You would make a lovely addition to our home, although my husband doesn't have the same amount of love for you that I do.
I am sorry, I know that hurts.
I can see us spending many nights together by the fire watching Divine Design.
Unfortunately I have to let you go.
My husband doesn't like your legs, and thinks you are a little girly
(shocking because I thought he liked girls!)